We should be looking *much* more closely at someone’s actions than their words.
People can say anything they want.
We use the same process (speaking) to tell both a truth and a lie.
Many people become overwhelmed with trying to decipher what’s healthy or unhealthy, especially in relationships.
They ask questions like:
But how can I tell if he really means it this time?
What if their apology is sincere now, and I don’t believe them?
Everything she says seems so genuine. Could she really be a narcissist?
Your FIRST clue that someone is lying: you feel more confused than clear after speaking with them.
If your body is consistently giving you feelings of anxiety, uneasiness, or tension: listen!
Your body often knows before your mind is willing to accept.
The SECOND best way to judge someone’s honesty: watch their behavior.
If they say they love you, but dismiss, belittle, or gaslight you – believe them.
If they say they want to make things work, but don’t consistently follow through – believe them.
If they promise it won’t happen again, but you find ways they “accidentally” keep breaking your trust – believe them.
Their actions were telling you the truth the whole time.
You just have to (watch) and listen.
If you’re looking to heal from narcissistic abuse or relationship trauma, I can help! I specialize in helping people heal from toxic, dysfunctional, or harmful relationships. I recommend starting here and getting my free bimonthly newsletter. Or contact me today about working together via therapy or coaching.
Chelsey Brooke Cole is a psychotherapist, best-selling author, speaker, and coach specializing in narcissistic abuse and relational trauma. Praised as "Enlightening and Empowering" Chelsey's new book, If Only I'd Known! How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth is available wherever books are sold.
