Dating should be a time of reflection and of getting to know one another. It’s a time to WATCH for red flags – not ignore them.
And yet sometimes we’re so focused on this person being THE person…
We’re willing to overlook, downplay, or flat-out dismiss our gut feelings. So, here’s a list of potential red flags that should be thoughtfully & intentionally watched for.
Red flags that you should notice about your dating partner include:
- Asking to move in or get engaged too quickly
- Talking about themselves all the time
- Being dismissive of your emotions
- Getting angry when you share a request (big or small)
- When they say, “You always make me feel bad,” in response to you setting a boundary or expressing your needs
- Any type of name-calling or insults, even if it’s only during arguments
- Always shifting blame or not taking personal responsibility
- They only bring up their “issues with you” when you express your concerns about their behavior
- Feeling a super intense initial attraction that you “can’t really explain” (this is often the start of a trauma bond relationship)
- Saying an insult or putting you down (and then saying “just kidding” or “it was just a joke”)
- Demeaning you and then laughing about it
- Saying I love you too quickly
- They’re always a victim in their stories of their past relationships (it’s never their fault)
- They make excuses for lots of things (not being on time, not listening because they had a bad day or were stressed, etc.)
- Selfish/childish behavior
Although these red flags don’t always point toward a narcissist, they are something to be aware of and watched closely to see if it continues or improves –
Otherwise, you could end up in a toxic relationship and that cycle is very difficult to break.
What other red flags would you add to the list?
If you’re looking to heal from narcissistic abuse or relationship trauma, I can help! I specialize in helping people heal from toxic, dysfunctional, or harmful relationships. Read more about my specialties and approach to the counseling process or book a free consult call today!