Narcissists are notorious for making broad assumptions and statements:
“You’re always so controlling.”
“You never let things go.”
“You just don’t know how to move on.”
“All of this is your fault.”
And they do this with relationships as well.
They want you to believe that:
You won’t find anyone better.
Everyone has relationship issues.
You ask for too much.
No one can meet your standards.
Relationships are hard work.
And as a society, we tend to believe some of these things, too.
So it doesn’t take much convincing by the narcissist for you to decide that you’d better “make it work” because “everyone” has problems.
But not only are these broad assumptions false –
They’re also only being used by the narcissist to justify their own actions.
If “everyone” has relationship issues, then the narcissist’s bad behaviors become expected and accepted.
If “relationships are hard work” then your gut feeling that something is off is ignored.
Narcissists will tell you anything that they think will normalize their harmful behaviors.
Have you experienced this in your narcissistic relationship?
If you’re looking to heal from narcissistic abuse or relationship trauma, I can help! I specialize in helping people heal from toxic, dysfunctional, or harmful relationships. I recommend starting here and getting my free bimonthly newsletter. Or contact me today about working together via therapy or coaching.
Chelsey Brooke Cole is a psychotherapist, best-selling author, speaker, and coach specializing in narcissistic abuse and relational trauma. Praised as "Enlightening and Empowering" Chelsey's new book, If Only I'd Known! How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth is available wherever books are sold.
