Narcissistic truth: a leaking cup can never be full.
Many times people feel like they are “never enough” for the narcissist.
They feel like they have to be constantly entertaining, impressing, and keeping the narcissist’s attention.
This anxious feeling of “not enough-ness” is fueled by the narcissist’s ever-present need for validation and supply.
It’s like you intuitively know that the minute you stop becoming “interesting”, the narcissist will get bored, leave, or find someone or something else to fill their void.
And that part – is true.
Narcissists ARE a leaking cup!
Nothing is ever enough for them.
They are a vacuum for anything good around them, using up every source of positive energy, love, and generosity.
This is a terrible truth about what it’s like to be with a narcissist.
But here’s where it becomes dangerous:
We often internalize the narcissist’s need for constant validation as OUR problem.
We think if we were good enough, interesting enough, beautiful enough, loving enough, giving enough… that the narcissist would be happy, content, and loving.
But that simply isn’t true.
Think of it this way:
If a cup had holes in the bottom, would you blame the water for leaking out of it?
No! You would blame it on the leaking cup.
YOU are the water! YOU are enough.
The problem isn’t you – it’s the leaking cup.
Make sure you’re placing responsibility in the right place.
Can you relate to feeling “not enough” in your toxic relationships?
If you’re looking to heal from narcissistic abuse or relationship trauma, I can help! I specialize in helping people heal from toxic, dysfunctional, or harmful relationships. I recommend starting here and getting my free bimonthly newsletter. Or contact me today about working together via therapy or coaching.