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Early Praise For

IF ONLY I’D KNOWN!

“Incredible insights and extremely ‘real’ content!”

Dee Stefano

“Chelsey’s insight has brought significant clarity to my world.”

-Sandi G

“This book was the help that I desperately needed!”

-Knat L.

Early Praise For

IF ONLY I’D KNOWN!

“Incredible insights and extremely ‘real’ content!”

Dee Stefano

“Chelsey’s insight has brought significant clarity to my world.”

-Sandi G

“This book was the help that I desperately needed!”

-Knat L.

Early Praise For

IF ONLY I’D KNOWN!

“Incredible insights and extremely ‘real’ content!”

Dee Stefano

“Chelsey’s insight has brought significant clarity to my world.”

-Sandi G

“This book was the help that I desperately needed!”

-Knat L.

“If you’ve ever struggled to understand how narcissists think or why they do what they do, you need this book! Chelsey provides a fresh, down-to-earth explanation that will quiet your criticisms and confusion, and provide clarity and calm once and for all.”

 

Dr. Ivan Misner

NY Times Bestselling Author

“If you’ve ever struggled to understand how narcissists think or why they do what they do, you need this book! Chelsey provides a fresh, down-to-earth explanation that will quiet your criticisms and confusion, and provide clarity and calm once and for all.”

Dr. Ivan Misner

NY Times Bestselling Author

“After narcissistic abuse, you feel like you’ve lost yourself. You’re overwhelmed, broken, and shattered. This book will help you put yourself back together, piece by piece. Chelsey provides compassion, insight, and guidance on every page. Readers will feel like they have a true friend walking alongside them every step of the way.”

Jenn Granneman

Founder of IntrovertDear.com and co-author of SENSITIVE

“After narcissistic abuse, you feel like you’ve lost yourself. You’re overwhelmed, broken, and shattered. This book will help you put yourself back together, piece by piece. Chelsey provides compassion, insight, and guidance on every page. Readers will feel like they have a true friend walking alongside them every step of the way.”

Jenn Granneman

Founder of IntrovertDear.com and co-author of SENSITIVE

“In If Only I’d Known, Chelsey guides and helps readers through the process of understanding narcissism. This book is a must-read, especially for anyone that is embarking on their healing journey. Well done!”

Terrance Lee

Author Of Quiet Voice Fearless Leader - 10 Principles For Introverts To Awaken The Leader Inside

“In If Only I’d Known, Chelsey guides and helps readers through the process of understanding narcissism. This book is a must-read, especially for anyone that is embarking on their healing journey. Well done!”

Terrance Lee

Author Of Quiet Voice Fearless Leader - 10 Principles For Introverts To Awaken The Leader Inside

“Have you ever ignored your gut feeling about someone, only later to find out that you were right all along? I learned from Chelsey that tuning in to your body’s cues for safety and danger shields you from narcissists. I’m grateful that she devotes a chapter to understanding your body’s mental, emotional, behavioral, and physiological warning signs. Like Chelsey says, ‘You can’t overthink a gut feeling!’”

Nancy Ancowitz

Career Advancement Coach and Author, Self-Promotion for Introverts®

“Have you ever ignored your gut feeling about someone, only later to find out that you were right all along? I learned from Chelsey that tuning in to your body’s cues for safety and danger shields you from narcissists. I’m grateful that she devotes a chapter to understanding your body’s mental, emotional, behavioral, and physiological warning signs. Like Chelsey says, ‘You can’t overthink a gut feeling!’”

Nancy Ancowitz

Career Advancement Coach and Author, Self-Promotion for Introverts®

“People dealing with this kind of insidious abuse often feel completely alone. Chelsey explains what’s happening and why, adding a deep dose of comfort. Thanks for an excellent resource, and we will surely be recommending this book to our community!”

Lisa Johnson and Chris Barry

High-Conflict Divorce Coaches and Authors Been There Got Out

“People dealing with this kind of insidious abuse often feel completely alone. Chelsey explains what’s happening and why, adding a deep dose of comfort. Thanks for an excellent resource, and we will surely be recommending this book to our community!”

Lisa Johnson and Chris Barry

High-Conflict Divorce Coaches and Authors Been There Got Out

“If you’ve ever been touched by a toxic workplace, tyrannical boss, or undermining colleague, you need this book. With clinical expertise, relatable stories, and fresh insights, Chelsey helps us all recognize, recover, and resist narcissistic individuals at every level.”

Dorie Clark

Wall Street Journal bestselling author of The Long Game and executive education faculty, Columbia Business School

“If you’ve ever been touched by a toxic workplace, tyrannical boss, or undermining colleague, you need this book. With clinical expertise, relatable stories, and fresh insights, Chelsey helps us all recognize, recover, and resist narcissistic individuals at every level.”

Dorie Clark

Wall Street Journal bestselling author of The Long Game and executive education faculty, Columbia Business School

“I’ve always considered myself to be a bold, confident, high achiever. But my experience with narcissistic abuse in a personal relationship shook me to my core. It crushed my spirit and broke my heart. Narcissistic abuse affected every aspect of my inner life, and I felt stuck. Chelsey’s insights were such a gift to me, offering clarity, affirmation, and mindsets for recovery and healing. As I read her words, I often felt like she was reading my mind and speaking directly to the abuse I had gone through. I’m grateful to Chelsey and will certainly be sharing this book with others. Highly recommended!”

Brett Culp

Acclaimed documentary filmmaker and Speaker

“I’ve always considered myself to be a bold, confident, high achiever. But my experience with narcissistic abuse in a personal relationship shook me to my core. It crushed my spirit and broke my heart. Narcissistic abuse affected every aspect of my inner life, and I felt stuck. Chelsey’s insights were such a gift to me, offering clarity, affirmation, and mindsets for recovery and healing. As I read her words, I often felt like she was reading my mind and speaking directly to the abuse I had gone through. I’m grateful to Chelsey and will certainly be sharing this book with others. Highly recommended!”

Brett Culp

Acclaimed documentary filmmaker and Speaker

“Chelsey is able to put into words what every narcissistic abuse survivor feels. She gives voice to those who don’t know how to say what they’ve been through. She is a true advocate for trauma survivors of all kinds, including those harmed by romantic partners, parents, siblings, and friends.”

Tracy Fields

BSW, MSW, Therapist and Speaker

“Chelsey is able to put into words what every narcissistic abuse survivor feels. She gives voice to those who don’t know how to say what they’ve been through. She is a true advocate for trauma survivors of all kinds, including those harmed by romantic partners, parents, siblings, and friends.”

Tracy Fields

BSW, MSW, Therapist and Speaker

“Narcissistic abuse is a complex topic, and after working for a few narcissists and dating a couple, I felt like I was a magnet for their madness. Chelsey really understands the inner workings of narcissists, and breaks it down so you can learn how to protect yourself from toxic people professionally, and personally heal from relational trauma and get back to you.”

Jeri Bingham

Podcast Host, HushLoudly: Introverts Redefined

“Narcissistic abuse is a complex topic, and after working for a few narcissists and dating a couple, I felt like I was a magnet for their madness. Chelsey really understands the inner workings of narcissists, and breaks it down so you can learn how to protect yourself from toxic people professionally, and personally heal from relational trauma and get back to you.”

Jeri Bingham

Podcast Host, HushLoudly: Introverts Redefined

“Early in my career – when working as an administrative assistant in Hollywood – I had the misfortune of reporting to one horrible boss after another. With only a few exceptions, most of these managers were tyrannical, arrogant, egomaniacal, abusive bullies who inflated their own egos and status by manipulating, lying to, gaslighting, belittling, intimidating, and threatening those around and beneath them. And the toxic cultures of many of these entertainment industry companies appeared to deem these abhorrent behaviors to be totally acceptable. In fact, the trauma of these early career work experiences (which I’ve since labeled as “PTBD” – or “Post-Traumatic Boss Disorder” as the memories and some of the pain still lingers) is what eventually led to my becoming an executive coach and leadership professor. What I did not truly realize – until reading Chelsey Brooke Cole’s insightful and inspirational new book – is that these awful bosses were all narcissists. As the title of this wonderful piece of work states, “If Only I’d Known” that how I was being treated was entirely unacceptable, emotionally unhealthy, not my fault, and completely not normal, I might have been better able to identify, understand, and navigate some of these difficult and painful situations, and more quickly and successfully regain my self-worth and reclaim my power. This book is a must-read for anyone who is dealing with a narcissist in either their personal or professional life, as it will not only help you to recognize, define, and validate your experience, but – with the help of Chelsey’s understanding, empathetic, and compassionate style – will provide you with a variety of ways to deal with your situation and take greater ownership of your life.”

Todd Cherches

CEO of BigBlueGumball, and author of VisuaLeadership: Leveraging the Power of Visual Thinking in Leadership and in Life

“Early in my career – when working as an administrative assistant in Hollywood – I had the misfortune of reporting to one horrible boss after another. With only a few exceptions, most of these managers were tyrannical, arrogant, egomaniacal, abusive bullies who inflated their own egos and status by manipulating, lying to, gaslighting, belittling, intimidating, and threatening those around and beneath them. And the toxic cultures of many of these entertainment industry companies appeared to deem these abhorrent behaviors to be totally acceptable. In fact, the trauma of these early career work experiences (which I’ve since labeled as “PTBD” – or “Post-Traumatic Boss Disorder” as the memories and some of the pain still lingers) is what eventually led to my becoming an executive coach and leadership professor. What I did not truly realize – until reading Chelsey Brooke Cole’s insightful and inspirational new book – is that these awful bosses were all narcissists. As the title of this wonderful piece of work states, “If Only I’d Known” that how I was being treated was entirely unacceptable, emotionally unhealthy, not my fault, and completely not normal, I might have been better able to identify, understand, and navigate some of these difficult and painful situations, and more quickly and successfully regain my self-worth and reclaim my power. This book is a must-read for anyone who is dealing with a narcissist in either their personal or professional life, as it will not only help you to recognize, define, and validate your experience, but – with the help of Chelsey’s understanding, empathetic, and compassionate style – will provide you with a variety of ways to deal with your situation and take greater ownership of your life.”

Todd Cherches

CEO of BigBlueGumball, and author of VisuaLeadership: Leveraging the Power of Visual Thinking in Leadership and in Life

“Is your partner critical or dismissive of your feelings? Are you struggling to figure out if they’re a narcissist, or just selfish? This book lays out exactly what a narcissist is and what behaviors to look for with real-life examples and stories from survivors. Chelsey also provides a checklist for toxic behaviors, which is super helpful!”

Caroline Foster

Life Coach and Bestselling Author of "Narcissistic Mothers" and "Narcissistic Fathers."

“Is your partner critical or dismissive of your feelings? Are you struggling to figure out if they’re a narcissist, or just selfish? This book lays out exactly what a narcissist is and what behaviors to look for with real-life examples and stories from survivors. Chelsey also provides a checklist for toxic behaviors, which is super helpful!”

Caroline Foster

Life Coach and Bestselling Author of "Narcissistic Mothers" and "Narcissistic Fathers."

“This is the book that every narcissistic abuse survivor needs to read! Not only will it validate your experiences of overt and covert narcissistic abuse, Chelsey’s expertly written resource shares why narcissists act the way they do so that you can then implement the practical tools and strategies with confidence and break free from the cycle. An excellent resource for therapists to provide their narcissistic abuse survivor clients to help support their healing.”

Avery Thatcher

Becoming Avery ~ Burnout Recovery Strategist, Former ICU RN, 500hr RYT, MBSR, NLP, TLC, EMDR, CBT, DBT, ACT, EFT

“This is the book that every narcissistic abuse survivor needs to read! Not only will it validate your experiences of overt and covert narcissistic abuse, Chelsey’s expertly written resource shares why narcissists act the way they do so that you can then implement the practical tools and strategies with confidence and break free from the cycle. An excellent resource for therapists to provide their narcissistic abuse survivor clients to help support their healing.”

Avery Thatcher

Becoming Avery ~ Burnout Recovery Strategist, Former ICU RN, 500hr RYT, MBSR, NLP, TLC, EMDR, CBT, DBT, ACT, EFT

“This book is a survivor manual for narcissistic abuse survivors. Chelsey clearly and relatably explains not only how to understand narcissists, but also how to heal from manipulative and abusive relationships. This book is so much more than an explanation of narcissistic behaviors – it’s a lifeboat that will take you to a place of healing, empowerment, and total transformation.”

Steve Friedman

Award-winning author of The Corporate Introvert: How to Lead and Thrive with Confidence

“This book is a survivor manual for narcissistic abuse survivors. Chelsey clearly and relatably explains not only how to understand narcissists, but also how to heal from manipulative and abusive relationships. This book is so much more than an explanation of narcissistic behaviors – it’s a lifeboat that will take you to a place of healing, empowerment, and total transformation.”

Steve Friedman

Award-winning author of The Corporate Introvert: How to Lead and Thrive with Confidence

If Only I’d Known is the perfect title for this book. It is educational in all the right ways and most importantly validating for those who have been or currently are in relationships of any kind with a narcissist. Chelsey not only shares the information and examples of the education for the readers better understanding, she is vulnerable and open in her own experience and why helping people heal from narcissistic trauma is so important. 5 Stars!”

Kayla Clark

LPC Owner of Be Well Counseling, LLC

If Only I’d Known is the perfect title for this book. It is educational in all the right ways and most importantly validating for those who have been or currently are in relationships of any kind with a narcissist. Chelsey not only shares the information and examples of the education for the readers better understanding, she is vulnerable and open in her own experience and why helping people heal from narcissistic trauma is so important. 5 Stars!”

Kayla Clark

LPC Owner of Be Well Counseling, LLC

What Readers Are Saying

For me, personally, the book ticked a lot of boxes and had more than a few ‘Wow!’ moments. I can thoroughly recommend the book as a must read to anyone who has been in a Narcissistic relationship, or is presently in one. If Only I’d Known will certainly open your eyes.

Aonymous Reader

So much of what was shared in the book spoke directly to me and where I am in my journey. It gave me hope and encouragement as well as tools to get through the days when it feels like there is no forward movement toward healing

Sue Z.

The book described specific steps a person can take when healing from narcissistic abuse.

Nat D.

Chelsey’s book should be required reading for anyone dealing with a narcissist and feels stuck, lost, confused or alone and overwhelmed.

Becky T.

Order from your favorite retailer!

Order from your favorite retailer!

Order from your favorite retailer!

What Readers Are Saying

Kristin Loessel

Great insight! Chelsey does an amazing job explaining the various types of narcissists, identifying them, and how to deal with them. This is must read book if you have a narcissist in daily life.

Bridges

Amazing content! Chelsey masterfully breaks down the steps on how to survive and thrive despite narcissistic abuse and trauma bonding. You will walk away not only feeling this is doable but realizing you may have already begun to take some of these steps without realizing it. Most importantly she lets you know you’re not alone and it’s okay to be in whatever stage of healing you’re in with or without the narcissist still being in your life.

Amy Sackett Coy

This author is on point and “gets it”. All of us have experienced relational issues with those we love. What we don’t always see is the core of why the same issues keep resurfacing in some way or another and why we have such a draw to those we hurt and hurt us. Read this book! It will help you identify the toxic traits in your relationship that you’ve learned to overlook or accept. Chances are you will relate to what this author has experienced herself. You will learn how to strengthen yourself from within and have the courage to make the best decisions for you, even when you “feel” like you are standing alone. You are not alone and this book will show you just that.

Onlyreadbooksthatmatter

What Readers Are Saying

Amazing content! Chelsey masterfully breaks down the steps on how to survive and thrive despite narcissistic abuse and trauma bonding. You will walk away not only feeling this is doable but realizing you may have already begun to take some of these steps without realizing it. Most importantly she lets you know you’re not alone and it’s okay to be in whatever stage of healing you’re in with or without the narcissist still being in your life.

Amy Sackett Coy

Great insight! Chelsey does an amazing job explaining the various types of narcissists, identifying them, and how to deal with them. This is must read book if you have a narcissist in daily life.

Bridges

Chelsey’s book should be required reading for anyone dealing with a narcissist and feels stuck, lost, confused or alone and overwhelmed.

Becky T.

It’s amazing how this book hit the nail on the head. I never realized some scenarios until I read the book. I am not much of a book reader, so the fact I was able to relate to this amazed me. Will definitely pick it up and read multiple times a year until I am properly healed from the narcissistic abuse. Thanks for all your helpful thoughts and processes to heal and recover.

Kristin Loessel

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